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Puppies, Kittens and Martyrdom

How Christian kids and Muslim kids differ
Puppies, Kittens and Martyrdom

How cute! We should put them in the Bible!

For many years, Bible publishers have been guilty of what is nothing less than the exploitation of gullible and undiscerning Christians.  There is a "study Bible" for every sub category of human being imaginable.  There are the standard women's and men's study Bibles because, presumably, men and women have different spiritual needs. But that, I suppose, is tolerable even if I don't fully understand the significance of it.

But then there are Bibles like the Spirit-Filled Study Bible for those of us who are Spirit-filled, as opposed to those who aren't quite so much.  And the Life Application Bible for those peculiar Christians who think the Bible should have some influence upon their lives.

Then there are study Bibles that are available in the multitude of different translations: NIV, KJV, NKJV, ESV, NASV, ASV, ABC, FBI, IBM, CIA, ATF, and so on.  There are Bibles for Catholics and Protestants, Fundamentalists and Liberals, Dispensationalists, Calvinists, Wesleyans, and even Baptists.  There are Bibles for Pre-Trib, Mid-Trib, Post-Trib, Pre-Millenial, Amillenial, and Post Millenial believers. For some reason, every conceivable major and minor category of Christendom needs its own customized word from God in a flavor compatible with whatever they already think God should be saying.

And, of course, this makes Bible publishers beside themselves with glee in their desire to meet absolutely everyone's felt need for their very own designer Bible written specifically for them at whatever stage of life, both physical and spiritual, they find themselves in.  It is astounding to think that a couple hundred years ago, we only had the King James Bible and two or three other relatively obscure translations to choose from.  How miraculous that we survived such a dearth of biblical variety!

But now . . . having totally exhausted every sub-niche of humanity (The Left-Handed Plumber's Study Bible, The African Pygmy Cowboy Bible, The Gluten-Free Bible, The Illegal Pomeranian Immigrant Bible, The Democratic/Republican/Socialist/Communist/Libertarian/KKK/BlackPanther/Girl Scout/Boy Scout Bible, etc., etc., etc.), . . . NOW we have from ZonderKidz,

The Playful Puppies Bible.

Yes, this is for real!  Click on the link!  No, really.  I wish I were kidding. And no, I do not think we could possibly trivialize the word of God any more than this.  Unless . . . maybe we could do more damage with the . . .

Curious Kittens Bible!

Of course I'm NOT making this up! Who could make this stuff up?  Except the people at Zondervan, who seem to have zero conscience molecules in their collective brains when it comes to taking money from mindless Christians.

Apparently these are the Bibles that some American Christian parents and grandparents are handing to their children and grandchildren.  That may be the only way their kids would ever pick up a Bible, if it has pictures of cute puppies and playful kittens inside.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the world (and even on this side), we have Muslims.  Unfortunately, they do not have The Playful Puppy Koran.  I think they could use a serious dose of playful.  But if we suggested such a thing to a Koran publisher, we would undoubtedly do so at the risk of our heads.  Seriously.  I wish I were kidding.

American Christian children are enticed to read (or maybe just pick up) a Bible with kittens and puppies.  Muslim mothers strap C4-laden explosive vests to their little Johnny's with promises of Paradise for them and their families when Johnny (or Mohammeddy) blows himself to pieces in the marketplace and murders unsuspecting Jews and Americans and any other flavor of infidel in the service of Allah, the most merciful. ( I don't think that word means what they think that word means.)

Parents: Instead of trying to bribe your children with kitty cats to look at a Bible, you may want to consider sitting your kids down and READING IT TO THEM.  I am still not kidding.  Have you thought this through?

And, Zondervan!  Shame on you!  SHAME on you!  You are "Christian" extortionists.  In your greed for more and more profits, you trade upon the sentimentalities of young parents.  Once upon a time, maybe 50 years ago, you published books worth reading.  Solid, meaty, biblical tomes that were a blessing to the Body of Christ and to the parents of millions of children.  But now?  The Playful Puppies Bible?? You've GOT to be kidding!  Shame on you!

And finally, . . . the contrast between Evangelical children and Muslim children could not be more stark.  While our children enjoy kittens and puppies, their children are being taught how to disassemble, clean, reload, and FIRE an AK-47.

The handwriting is on the wall, beloved.  The handwriting is on the wall!

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