June 9th, 2008
I am happy to announce that this will be the final entry (D.V.) in the JBJ. Unless there are things going on of which I am not aware, which obviously was the case when all of this got started, I anticipate writing no further updates. Unless of course, you really want to hear more about CT scans and their detrimental effects on my digestive system. (See JBJ for March 9, 2008)
Today is my wife’s birthday. Last Thursday was our 31st anniversary. This Sunday will be Father’s Day. I am glad to be here for them all. God has shown me much mercy. I’m happy to be writing to you again, with virtually no pain. Still a bit tender way down deep, but I’m nearly back to my normal life. Two weeks ago, I mowed most of the lawn. It isn’t large, so don’t think more of that feat than it deserves. I can also tell things are almost normal because of the condition of my desk. I know it is here somewhere.
Other signs of normalcy include a return to my regular preaching schedule as of May 4th. My appetite has fully recuperated, even though my stomach still protests when I eat too much too fast. Possibly the worst sign that things are almost back as they were is the reappearance of a lack of patience with just about everything. Illness tends to make you more careful with how you live and what you say. It provokes a humility that is easily forgotten when things seem to be back to normal, you feel healthy, and the old routine is resumed. I’ve actually gotten to the point where I need to remind myself how bad things were just two months ago, and how far the Lord has brought me in those few weeks. I am amazed.
How soon we forget. On April 2nd, I experienced an extremely invasive surgical procedure. I’m glad I don’t know everything they did to me. But the stuff I do remember, during the following 7 days, were torturous. Yesterday, my friend Larry Theisen (Director of Mission for the Keystone Baptist Association) asked me a question about my stay at UPMC. Just trying to verbalize the emotions of that event left me speechless. I didn’t know what to say to him. It was a horrible experience from which the Lord has graciously delivered me.
And now, two months later, I’m put out by such insignificant things as my computer inexplicably locking up while I’m using it. Or Earl (our tub of lard cat) lounging on my desk like it belongs to him. Or my wife (of 31 years, by the way!) when we’re trying to make plans for her birthday and it becomes, at least for me, unbearably complicated. Why am I upset with my wife? Why should I be upset about ANYTHING, considering the magnitude of the goodness of God toward me in these recent days?
What a jerk. (And I don’t want to hear any “Amens!” from my sisters-in-law!) I hate being me. It is absolutely true that I am my own worst enemy. Satan has to take a back seat to the sinful nature that still resides inside me. I don’t need the devil to tempt me to sin. All I need is me! Those “lusts of the flesh” the Bible speaks of are way too alive and well. Why can’t they get cancer? I’d be happy for them to die.
But there is hope. The Apostle Paul speaking to the Philippians, said “He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.” (Php 1:6). I’m sure all of you would agree wholeheartedly that it is a good thing to know that Keith will not always be the way he is now. (I will accept not-too-enthusiastic “Amens” at this point.) He is actually in the process of being changed, and eventually, that transformation process will be completed by God Himself. That is cause for rejoicing for every Christian, not just for those of you who think (know?) I’m a jerk, because it is true for every believer in the Lord Jesus.
What will it be like to be like Christ? How will it feel to be delivered from every temptation, whether from within or without? How will it feel to know that I will never sin again? What does perfect holiness feel like? I’ve known some people who would like to describe that to me, since it is their claim that they have been sinless for X number of years. I don’t take their claims very seriously, except to pity them. But if I am going to be like Christ, when God completes this work He has begun in me and in every believer, then what words do we have here in this life that could accurately convey what living with multitudes of sinless people could be like? Again, I am speechless. It is unfathomable.
How will it feel not to be a sinner? I don’t know. I’ve been one for so long . . . .
To be delivered from Pseudomyxoma Peritonei is a wonderful thing for which I am grateful. Just the name makes it sound gruesome. But compared with the little word “sin”, PMP is insignificant. The physical devastation of cancer cannot be compared to the eternal woes that accompany sin. But one day, God will deliver us who believe in Jesus Christ alone for our salvation, from sin. We will enter into a place where sin does not exist in any form. Truly it will be a different universe from the one we have always known. The effects of Adam’s rebellion will not be felt there. Death will be a non-entity. Cancer, all sickness, all suffering, will be extinct. Holiness will be more abundant in that life than sin is in this one. But never the twain shall meet. Never.
That is my hope. I trust it is your hope. I have no idea who reads these things. But I think it is a relatively safe bet that there are those who read this who are strangers to the hope I’m talking about. You may be hoping that somehow when you die, God will find it in His heart to allow you into the heavenly realms I’m talking about. If that is all the hope you have, I must warn you, you are actually hopeless. That is baseless wishful thinking, not hope.
Jesus Christ lived and died for sinners like us. For everyone who believes, the Scriptures say He “. . . Himself bore our sins in His own body on the tree, that we, having died to sins, might live for righteousness -- by whose stripes you were healed.” (1 Peter 2:24). On the cross, the believer was healed from something far worse than any cancer. He was healed from the death and condemnation brought on by sin. If Jesus’ death actually did that, then I have a sure hope, an unshakable confidence in His satisfactory, sacrificial work on my behalf. And the fact is, He really did do that for all who believe.
I am grateful to God for my deliverance from my disease. But I am infinitely more grateful for my Deliverer who rescued me from that other 100% terminal disease called sin, for which there is no other cure. I eagerly look forward to the day when the work He has begun is completed and I get to experience that holy existence in His presence in glory. This is not wishful thinking. This is confidence in Jesus Christ that He really is who the Bible says He is. I pray you will believe this as well.
I hope to see you there.
Grace and peace,
Keith
