A Tale of Two Women - Proverbs 9

Turn with me once again to the book of Proverbs.  We’re looking at chapter 9 today which is the final chapter in the first section of the book.  Chapter 10 begins a series of general proverbs from Solomon.  But this first section of nine chapters is intended to lay the foundation for the entire book by presenting the case for Wisdom as an absolute necessity for living a successful and godly life.

In the last two messages from chapters seven and eight, we’ve seen that the Scriptures present the Lord Jesus, ultimately, as the Wisdom of God.  The closing verses of chapter eight spell this out clearly.  You would think these were read from the gospel of John:

35 For whoever finds me finds life, And obtains favor from the LORD; 36 But he who sins against me wrongs his own soul; All those who hate me love death." (Proverbs 8:35-36, NKJV).

Now as if that were not clear enough, chapter 9 puts the last nail in the coffin of fools everywhere and in just a few verses restates the entire theme of Proverbs thus far.  It does so very graphically by telling the story of two women.  Their names are Lady Wisdom and Dame Folly.

1 Wisdom has built her house, She has hewn out her seven pillars; 2 She has slaughtered her meat, She has mixed her wine, She has also furnished her table. 3 She has sent out her maidens, She cries out from the highest places of the city, 4 "Whoever is simple, let him turn in here!" As for him who lacks understanding, she says to him, 5 "Come, eat of my bread And drink of the wine I have mixed. 6 Forsake foolishness and live, And go in the way of understanding.

7 "He who corrects a scoffer gets shame for himself, And he who rebukes a wicked man only harms himself. 8 Do not correct a scoffer, lest he hate you; Rebuke a wise man, and he will love you. 9 Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be still wiser; Teach a just man, and he will increase in learning.

10 "The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, And the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding. 11 For by me your days will be multiplied, And years of life will be added to you. 12 If you are wise, you are wise for yourself, And if you scoff, you will bear it alone."

13 A foolish woman is clamorous; She is simple, and knows nothing. 14 For she sits at the door of her house, On a seat by the highest places of the city, 15 To call to those who pass by, Who go straight on their way: 16 "Whoever is simple, let him turn in here"; And as for him who lacks understanding, she says to him, 17 "Stolen water is sweet, And bread eaten in secret is pleasant." 18 But he does not know that the dead are there, That her guests are in the depths of hell. (Proverbs 9:1-18, NKJV).

This Proverb is clearly divided into four parts.  It begins with the call of Lady Wisdom in verses 1-5.  Then in verses 7-9 there are warnings for the teacher who would seek to instruct others in wisdom.  10 through 12 is the thesis statement of the entire book of Proverbs.  Finally, the chapter concludes with the biography of Dame Folly.  The illustrations presented by these two opposites, Lady Wisdom and Dame Folly, serve as bookends at the beginning and the end of the chapter that present and conclude the core of the message.

The contrast between these two women could not be more stark.  Verse 1 speaks of the house Wisdom has built which is constructed with seven pillars.  It doesn’t sound like your typical Jewish house in Jerusalem.  It is meant to present a picture of strength and stability.  The number seven, as it does in many other places in Scripture, speaks of completion or perfection.

What may be implied here with the presence of seven pillars is that the house of Wisdom is also a house of worship.  Pillars are more suited for a temple than a private home.  She sends out a call to the public, beckoning them to come and partake of the Wisdom of God.  It is a very pleasant table she has set with food and wine.  I think it is also significant that the text says it is her house, her seven pillars, her meat, her wine, her table, her maidens.  Wisdom has built this house, she has reaped the benefits of her own wisdom, and she calls to others to share in the blessing of knowing and following after God.

In contrast, Dame Folly speaks of things stolen, and secret things in verse 17.  There is sexual innuendo in the phrase, and the bread eaten in secret speaks of forbidden rituals.  Wisdom builds up.  Wisdom edifies.  Wisdom imparts blessings to those who listen to her.  Folly kills.  The dead live at her house.  Her guests become ghosts.

But notice the identical choice of words which each woman uses to cry out to the people of the city:

4  "Whoever is simple, let him turn in here!"

16  "Whoever is simple, let him turn in here"

The initial call from both women is identical.  “Whoever is simple, come here!  If you want to be wise, if you really want to know what is happening, if you want to understand what life is really all about, come to me.”  This is a picture of the world in which we live.  It is a crystal clear picture of what every teenager in America faces: “Do you want to be cool, or do you want to listen to Mom and Dad for the rest of your life?”

That is the scenario.  It has always been that way.  Two voices call out, and they both sound exactly the same.  Dad and Mom say, “Listen to us.  Obey us.  Don’t be foolish.  Let us help you through these years of becoming an adult.”  The other side says the same thing: “Hey, we’re your real friends.  We’ll be there for you.  We can help you through these high school years.  You can count on us.  It will be fun!”

Lady Wisdom says:

5 "Come, eat of my bread And drink of the wine I have mixed. 6 Forsake foolishness and live, And go in the way of understanding.

Dame Folly says:

17 "Stolen water is sweet, And bread eaten in secret is pleasant."

Wisdom and folly.  Life and death.  Heaven and Hell.  The Temple vs. the tomb.

I was reading a commentary on this Proverb, and the writer mentioned Psalm 23 as a companion passage to this one.  Psalm 23 is an account of the person who visits in the house of Lady Wisdom.  It speaks of how the wise person moves, or is moved by God through this life.

1 <<A Psalm of David.>> The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. 2 He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters. 3 He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of righteousness For His name's sake. 4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. 5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You anoint my head with oil; My cup runs over. 6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me All the days of my life; And I will dwell in the house of the LORD Forever.

I don’t know how many different explanations I have heard for the phrase, “the valley of the shadow of death,” but Proverbs 9 sheds more light on it than anything else I’ve ever heard.  The wise person has God as his Shepherd.  Consequently, he goes in the way of understanding.  He has everything he needs for this life: Safety, peace, spiritual health, righteous paths.  But even though all of that is true, the fact is this life is still a walk through the valley of the shadow of death.  We live our entire lives in this valley.  Death constantly casts its shadow over us.  Dame Folly constantly calls to the foolish and says, “Turn in here!”

But for those who have Christ as their Shepherd, even in the valley where big-mouthed Folly beckons relentlessly, life is good.  We are a perpetual enigma to those around us, to the foolish and the wicked.  This life is not yet the life for which we have been saved because Death and Hell are still real.  But we are not defeated or destroyed by death, even though it is all around us constantly, even though we live in the valley of the shadow of death.

It causes verse 5 to make more sense when we understand this life in this way: You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.  Lady Wisdom prepares her table for the wise, while Dame Folly prepares a bed of death for the foolish, the enemies of the wise.  But those who listen and obey Lady Wisdom dwell in her house forever.

Are the foolish actually the enemies of the wise?  Is that an accurate statement?  It is true to some degree.  That is what verses 7 through 9 teach us.  These verses are directed toward those who desire to be counselors and helpers to others.  This is not a call to the student, but to the teacher.  This is instruction for the discipler, the one who would encourage people in the way they should go.  But there are inherent dangers.

7 "He who corrects a scoffer gets shame for himself, And he who rebukes a wicked man only harms himself. 8 Do not correct a scoffer, lest he hate you; Rebuke a wise man, and he will love you. 9 Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be still wiser; Teach a just man, and he will increase in learning.

So you want to be a Christian counselor?  You think the Lord has given you the gift of encouragement?  You want to help people see how the Lord would have them live their lives?  You want to warn them about the dangers of sin?  You feel compelled to show people how to avoid their own destruction?  Here’s what you will face: shame, scoffing, and hatred.  Many of those you seek to help will become your enemies.  In other words, trying to help the foolish often injures the wise.

David Hubbard said this:

“Do not underestimate the power of perverseness.”  That is the sage advice of the wise.  So perverse is it that attempts to “correct” or “rebuke” it end in “shame” and “harm” to the teacher (v.7).  The arrows of instruction seem to bounce off their target and ricochet to strike the one who launched them.  “Shame” and “blemish” describe the insult, the embarrassment, and the sense of rejection that come from reaching out to help a victim of entrenched foolishness (“a scoffer”), and getting your hand slashed in the effort.  “Beware of the teacher’s risks” is the gist of the saying.

“Choose your pupil wisely” is the point of verse 8.  Trying to coax one who mocks truth, morality, and wisdom to change his ways will only intensify his ire and turn him completely against you (“hate”).  Your efforts will only add insult to injury.  Spite will be the tuition paid you for your services.  Better by far to spend your energies on the teachable; even if you show them where they are wrong, they will shower you with appreciation and esteem (“love”).

Here’s what I think we should take away from these verses: Don’t waste your time trying to help a fool.  You’ll only gain an enemy.  He will hate you.  You can launch your arrows of wise instruction, but they will just bounce off.  They carry the shield of faithlessness, to protect themselves from common sense and understanding.  They cannot conceive that the wounds of a friend are for their good, motivated by love.  There comes a point when you have to cut such a scoffer loose.

If you have ever seen the film “Master and Commander”, there is a scene in which the main mast of a 19^th century English warship breaks during a violent storm and a sailor is thrown overboard as he clings to this huge mast.  But the mast and its sails are still connected to the ship.  The weight of the mast and the soaking wet sails threaten to roll the entire ship over onto its side and sink it.

The captain does everything he can to save the young man.  But he is faced with the choice of saving the one man, or sinking the entire ship and its crew.  So the captain gives the order, and with great sorrow, he himself participates in cutting the ropes to release the mast from the ship, and the young sailor drowns.

Unlike the sailor in this story who truly desired to be saved from death, scoffers insist upon drowning even though they don’t realize it.  In spite of the efforts of others to help them, they continue not only to insist upon their own way, but resent those who would save them from themselves.

At some point, such a person has to be cut loose.  I believe these verses are telling us that we are foolish to waste very much of our time with them.  They are unteachable.  They are unsavable, from a human perspective.  The only thing to do is cut them loose, possibly delivering others from the harm they often inflict, and move on.  Far better to instruct the wise and the teachable, than to fight with a fool who resents your assistance.

I believe this is what Jesus was speaking of in Matthew 7 when he said, "Do not give what is holy to the dogs; nor cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you in pieces.” (Matthew 7:6, NKJV).

When Jesus sent his disciples out to minister throughout Israel, He told them,

11 "And whoever will not receive you nor hear you, when you depart from there, shake off the dust under your feet as a testimony against them.  Assuredly, I say to you, it will be more tolerable for Sodom and Gomorrah in the day of judgment than for that city!"

Finally, we reach the very core of the battle between wisdom and folly:

10 "The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, And the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding. 11 For by me your days will be multiplied, And years of life will be added to you. 12 If you are wise, you are wise for yourself, And if you scoff, you will bear it alone."

As was stated back in chapter one, wisdom begins with a right view of God.  Wisdom prolongs life.  Wisdom rewards those who listen to her.  Get wisdom.  Just get wisdom.  Whatever the cost, get wisdom.

Then one last word to the wise (v.12): “If you are wise, you are wise for yourself, And if you scoff, you will bear it alone." There it is.  The wise reap the benefits of wisdom for themselves.  If you go to Lady Wisdom’s house, you live forever.  But if you scoff, if you mock, if you snicker and chortle at those dullards who hang out with Wisdom, if you insist on drowning in your own stupidity, you will bear it alone.  You can blame no one else for your own destruction.

The responsibility for your death is upon your shoulders only.  Not mine, not your parents, not your pastor, not your comrades, not your spouse, and not Dame Folly’s.  On the day of judgment, you stand before God all alone, and you will bear the punishment yourself.  You shunned counsel.  You disdained instruction.  You knew better than anyone else how to run your life.  So now you bear the burden of your folly yourself.

In other words, someone comes to you with some problem or some moral issue and they ask your advice.  You start by saying, “The Bible says that this behavior is wrong.  It is sinful.  You need to stop this and repent.  It is not wise for you to continue in this way of thinking.  You are hurting yourself and those around you.”  Then they respond by saying, “OK.  Thanks anyway.  Sorry to waste your time.”  And they walk away and totally ignore your sage advice in spite of many attempts to warn them of the detrimental effects of such foolishness.

You are not responsible for their self-destruction.  They have done this to themselves.  So you cut the ropes.  But be sure you cut the ropes with tears.  And spend your time counseling those who will actually hear what you have to say.  Because they will love you, even if you hurt them.  Faithful are the wounds of a friend!  Lady Wisdom calls and ministers to those who respond.  That is how we should minister as well.

Here in the Valley of the Shadow of Death, the vast majority have no interest in Wisdom.  We need to pour our lives into those who do.  Are you among the wise?  How do you respond when someone tells you you are wrong, that you are being foolish, that you should repent of some sinful behavior?  Which voice do you regularly listen to: Lady Wisdom or Dame Folly?